Reflections: On a Sombre Note

In conversation with mySELF...

“Why are you looking so glum?”

“Glum? What glum? I am just at peace with myself. Meditating. Contemplating. Trying to ‘see’ things.”

“Interesting. Tell me more.”

“Sigh! Do I have to? Can’t I just BE???”

“Umm... NO!!!”

(Sigh!)...

“So then tell me... Why are you so glum?”

“You know, sometimes when you think about it, it is not really funny the way things can turn out to be. Closer observation takes you to another dimension and you can feel your own connection to it all – while on the periphery it might not seem to be so. And when does that become disturbing? When you start feeling that you actually have a role in it; while you may not.”

“Aha! So what about it?”

“Hey wait. I am not talking about the ‘seen’. I am speaking on the ethereal level and the connect it makes to the tangible. Have you ever felt the choke in your throat? It is more in your mind than in your throat. Get the point?”

“Yeah, cut the crap. I got the point long before you did.”

“The past few weeks have been an array of experiences – ‘new’ experiences – taking me more inward.”

(Gosh! I am out of words... can’t even express clearly!)

“Hm-hmm... go on.”

(Silence)

“Need help?”

“Hmm (affirmation)”

(Smile)

(Ahh! That just melted me away.... Now what was I thinking about?)

“You were saying...”

“Ah yes! I was worried over whether my thoughts would become contentious. So was trying to choose words. But I soon realised that it was a futile attempt.”

“At the ‘ethereal’ level... yes!”

(Smile again)

(Grin) “Okay you got me! I was actually trying to figure out the ‘connect’ between people, events, me and ‘the purpose’. I have been working on things I have never done before, met people (of the kind) I have never met before, planning things I have never thought I would ever do, looking at people and events in a way I never did before... It has all happened in just about the past few weeks. Is that why I am feeling a little upstart and gloomy at the same time? Do you think I am yet to digest this all new experience?”

“And WHY would you want to digest it?”

(Silence... this was not anticipated)

“Well... for clarity... ... ... maybe!”

“And? Then what?”

“And... then...?” (Silence... digging deeper)

“Why don’t you just let it be. And relax in your own Self. Digestion happens on its own course. Not by your wishes.  

Be steady. Unfluttered. Sthitapragya...!”

(Question mark)

(Smile) “Don’t you see the obvious? Look at me. I experience everything that you do. And yet I am at peace. And that is why I am clear. When there are ripples in the water, you cannot see anything. But when the water is calm... you need no further explanation.

The mind is very tricky. It needs to be trained to be focused and calm. Again and again and again...”

(Aha! So that was it? I was drowning myself in the ripples of the water?)

(Still smiling) “Everything has its course. But when you are calm and steady you can see your path too. And you can avoid drowning” (Wink)... (Laughter)

(Broad smile) “Ya I get you now. You are the real me...my true Self. Untouched. Unfettered. Ever-joyful. Beyond all boundaries – ‘real’ and ‘ethereal’... hahaha!

But then what stops me from being you...?”

... to be continued